Cinque Terre…watch out for lemons

We spent a couple of days Cinque Terre, part of the Italian Riviera over on the west coast. There are 5 towns. One of them is called Monterosso. While there Edith and I turns into a little street to visit some churches. We saw what at that time was the most unique facades and interiors that we learned were artifacts of Pisan rule over the Cinque Terre region at one point. We received a history lesson by some locals over in Monte Marcello which is where we actually stayed. More on this later, but you have to go there for some relaxation. Francesco, one of the locals is a Law student in Pisa. He told us that the churches ere black and white striped, both inside and outside and had a theatrical appeal to them with the contrasting horizontal stripes and heavy velvet curtains in the richest deep jewel tones. They were remarkable and very unique from the standard Gothic and Renaissance churches that you see in Italy. (Will post good photos of this later from the camera and not from my phone).

After exiting the church we totally got duped in Monterosso. While standing around fixing our hair in a window, we got played by an old man. He caught us off guard and lured us in with his compliments and warm smile. I’m not shitting you. “Belissima! You byooteefula weemen!” He talked, as he stroked our faces. He made fools of us by getting as many hugs out of us as he could before planting the ugliest, wettest, and longest kisses on us we’ve ever had. The amount of slobber was daunting and although this sounds funny the amount of slobber would put a hot St. Bernard to shame. There were cops and there were feels. Not. Cool. After smacking him and pushing him I ran out of the store only to find Edith missing…because he was holding here there…still copping and feeling. Disgusting.

We tell kids:

1. Don’t talk to strangers.

2. Don’t go anywhere with strangers.

3. Don’t take food from strangers.

Heed your own advice people. I snapped this photo of the loser when he was hugging Meredith before things got crazy. I had no idea what he was going to do at the time I snapped this.


Such. An. A. Hole. Omg. PORCO!!!

We ended up with two lemons (that’s what he insisted on giving us to want us up) . “I heva geefts foRrr you. Mio frrriend geev to meeh, I geev to you.” He ended up with a swift kick in the a$$ and a strong shove. My god…the things you don’t expect to happen. We used the lemons to disinfect our mouths and faces.

There’s more life to this story if you want to hear it in person. Just ask. And there is a part II that you’ll need to stay tuned for.

***

Here’s some FUN from that part of the trip. I’m just saying….and all you people that loved Cinque Terre, I’m sorry we don’t agree, but this was by far the least impressive part of our trip. We have better pictures on the camera rather than he phone…but still. Those will be on FB when we get back, but…we did 4 towns and nope. Just didn’t do it for me. You can ask Meredith if she feels differently, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say she doesn’t.

[selfie sticks are GREAT. seriously.]

  

My counters!!! Found the cliffs and the mined pieces. And for all the people worried about marble counters and water and stains….listen up. Our counters are great. Also…all of Italy is made of white marble. The steps, churches, statues, christening tubs, bathtubs…white marble is great.

      

Dado is seriously EVERYWHERE in Italy and Croatia.  ❤️    

Lol, we liked these. And felt like this several times.   

Check out this selection. The names…! What do you advertising people think of this campaign?    

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