Bartender Saves My Butt from My Mom

Mom would be disappointed to know I forgot the plant she wanted me to bring to Turks & Caicos. She showed up with Dad to DSM to pickup the kids, and waited for all the hoopla to die down. Django was jumping and hitting tonsils with his recoiling tongue, Lula was sacking everyone in the front and back…in her way of showing she loves everyone. Her muzzle poke is such a shock every time that I think I’d actually prefer the more gentle, but awful, crotch sniff. There should be a no contact rule, because Lula is all up in there and nobody likes it.

Anyway, mom stood back holding a sword while all of this went down. When the coast cleared she came over and with total concern and seriousness, handed me what I highly was 16th century Spanish pipe. “Kid, you must take this with you.” I reached out my hands in excitement. I had no idea what treasure I was receiving. “You remember what this did for your father,” she said.

My imagination took of…I imagined a scene from Zorro or Desperado where the struggle around this pipe had killed his great great grandmother and his great great grandfather died trying to save her…the royalty took the pipe away, and it was lost for centuries until someone negotiated to get back and then used it to secure something really important…

“Steph.” My mom said. “Take the aloe.” I looked down and realized I wasn’t holding a pipe. It was a leaf arm off of an aloe plant. My dad had gotten a severe sunburn once in this aloe had saved his skin. It took away the burn, the pain, the peeling, and the bad. One spot he missed rubbing it on blistered and scabbed and oozed. My family became a set of believers in the healing effects of aloe from that day forward and momma bear brought me some to take in case the same fate awaited me & Dado.

Well, since packing got rough the night before we left to come down here, I forgot the aloe in the fridge. Remembering it only when I stepped off the plane in Providenciales. “Damn it,” I said to Dado. We forgot the aloe.

So then I burned and complained to the bartender a little. The next day, he showed up with this.


So I could do this:
Yesterday was fun. A little bit of biking to buy me some hairspray…    
The welcome party for all the wedding guests…      
And application of the patch. Let’s see if this helps in the boat today. Please, God.     


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