Have you ever met a ninja?

I’ve always said I wasn’t one for the tropics. “There is nothing there for me, I’ll be bored.” We showed up at our resort, and sure enough I was right. There was 3 people on our beach, nobody at the pool, a bunch of irritating sand in crevices I didn’t know I had, and no sun. I looked at Dado and said, “I can’t say that I get it.” That’s when We needed sunscreen, we walked next door and OMG, I woke up. We switched resorts, and HONEY! I am a believer!! Holy cow. You can’t believe the beauty and love I have for this place! I still have sand in places that have never seen the light of day and an undercarriage that has received several full sand exfoliations, but I GET IT now. I totally get it. And I take back everything I said about me and the tropics not getting along. I was wrong. (A rare moment in history.) :P

The sand is WHITE. WHITE!! The water is crystal clear and aqua as aqua can be. And they have one of my favorite beetles! I found a beetle, a big-ass beetle crawling through the sand. There were these funny tracks that are very distinctive of a bug crawl, I screemed to Dado across the PACKED beach “There’s a hydrophilid!”

http://ninnescahlife.wichita.edu/node/695

This isn’t a rare insect, but they’re uncomfortably huge and have a high fear factor. I followed the tracks, caught up to the little black shiny f-cker, picked him up and threw him to Dado who tipped off his sun chair and about broke a rib avoiding the airborne, piano-sheened, beetle. 

That was the end of those festivities, I put the little dude back in some bushes and moved on. Dado, unamused, eyed me from under his brow, never breaking eye contact with me, as he brushed sand off himself. 

I might add that those bushes creates a barrier between land and sea. There was a no entry sign in them. But when we tried to go to the other resort, we had to cross them. Shit (Croatian: PRNJE) in hand, we exiled ourselves from one place to the next, it was like leaving jail or crossing a f-cking trench, full of barbed wire. After finally climbing out of the bushes, and onto the endlessly long new adult-only dock that traversed the property and was the last hope before the bad hotel, I noticed what was ALL over me. You see, we crossed the trench,  and climbed onto the dock which we planned to quickly go across into the courtyard of heaven. But no. I had so many death burrs on me I couldn’t move my legs. Guess who had none. Dado. 

“Fuck!” Dado looked back to see me frozen in an outstretched X shape. “Fuck! Ouch! What the hell is all over me?!” I was covered. Waist down had at least 50 burs that had the will of the guy from Unbroken. What kind of seed needs tallons triple the length of the seed itself. They were like needles of death, dry, sharp, and strong like daggers. It sucked. I’m fine, obviously alive, but I didn’t know, in that moment, if i’d make it. 

The beach was FULL today. I mean full. It was straight out of the movies. The occasional sun bather would dip into the mermaid water and then run out quickly because the the water is almost as warm as the air. It’s like a hot tub. If you turned your back to the beach, there was almost no way to tell you weren’t on a private island. The clear calm water breathed gently with its soft waves and the perry winkle sky wrapped around the horizon like a winged creature from the heavens (excuse my prose, I just finished a drugstore romance novel). It was amazing to look at. 

I went paddle boarding, which was pretty entertaining other than my motion sickness. Notice how white I am. I am no longer this color. 

   

Sat down cause I felt queezy. Then I retired because sitting down did shit. Wednesday and Thursday I try the motion sickness patch for the snorkeling boat trip, more on that then. 

The sun was incredible. It was actually so wonderful that we went from 1 bottle of sunscreen to this (sorry, Ma, forgot the aloe leaf in the fridge in DSM…which I’ll need when I get back because I now bear a striking resemblance to a plated lobster):

  
We had a photoshoot of us today. On the beach. Kind of cheesy. But kind of fun if for no other reason than to watch another photographer in work. It was interesting, can’t say that the two of us are models, but we had what appeared to be a great photographer (with a great camera for great pictures, of course ;) …wrong!!!! Cameras don’t take great pictures, people do!!!) – we view the photos today. Eek. If there is something worth sharing, I’ll show you. 

I asked you about meeting a ninja. So, have you? Well this ninja caught this!

   
  

I let him go right after our mini photo session together. Catch and release. Look he’s doing tri dips:  

[i don’t want to hear any comments about my tool belt. Shut it. It’s from Roots and I love it.]

I’ve got to tell you about our new hotel! Omg, so worth the extra $!! It’s called the Regent. This place is STUNNING. Images tomorrow. We went there to buy sunscreen, and decided it’s only about 1000 times better than our hotel, so we moved there. There is so much beauty in the new place, I can’t even tell you about it, you just need to see it. They even sell Adriano Goldschmied jeans in the lobby store. Um, hello. The staff is out of this world. These have to be the nicest people from across the Caribbean, hand picked and brought to work at the Regent. One guy was from Haiti, one lady from Jamaica, several locals…all deserving of fist bumps, bear hugs, and a good platonic slap on the ass. I love them. You have to come here. In a few days we switch to another hotel to be with our clients. (Dying to see them!!!) Where we are going next is supposed to be one of the nicest hotels on the islands, so if it is anything like the Regent, then we are golden.

I went for a run on the beach today at 7 am. I’ve never done this before. I felt so, I don’t know, disciplined. I past some dude who I thought would be good, but I was faster! Eat it, champ! And I met other runners twice as we passed on the way there and on the way back running from different ends of the coast. Someone should look up how far I ran. It felt like 20 miles. But there is a good chance it was only a mile. (Regent to Grace Bay Club back to Regent). Dado said I was gone long. I felt pretty cocky about, actually a big grin coming across my face. 

Running in sand is tricky. You have to run on the cusp of the drying sand and the wet sand, right where the waves stretch their longest tentacles on te shore. I’ve always had a thing about my lack of boobs…I bought several bandeau swim suit tops (cause they’re in) but they squeeze down and make me look like and adolescent boy (not by choice, but a reality). This, as unsexy as it may be, is extremely helpful when on a beach run, I learned today! Now if only I could bandeau my upper arms, butt, and entire abdomen. ;)

Here’s a few more photos from yesterday when the sun was hiding…

  

   
    

Love this new bathing suit!

And finally, I liked this art.   

  

Peace! ✌️

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